This morning I prayed a 96 year old woman into her next life. I midwifed her dying. The room was so sterile, so empty, and the other priest, the woman's daughter and her friend stayed so far from the bed. I just walked up to her and touched her - stroked her hair and forehead... and as I asked God to receive her, she died. I don't remember clearly what I said - I certainly wasn't prepared for her to die 'under my hand' - I might have chosen my words more carefully. Thank God the Spirit prays for us when we don't know what to say.
As I reflected on the experience later it came to me that midwives assist the passage from one state of life to another... into life in this world, on to life in the next world. I too am a midwife. And like birth, some deaths are easy, natural and peaceful, and others are more stressful. This was so easy, so gentle - one last breath. What a gift!
And then, in the way that I am discovering Fridays can be such a microcosm of life in all its fullness, I watched 2 lively passionate interviews on TV (while my car was being serviced), I sat and listened to an 85-year old trying to figure out how to live what remains of her life after she is released from hospital (and translated her doctor's questions for her from French), and I attended the vernissage of an exhibit by a childhood-friend-become-potter-of-reknown called 'Veritas' ... in search of Truth! Isn't that what it's all about? Every day, as I stay alive and awake in each moment, develops my Truth - helps me refine my Truth and learn more about what is Truth for others. It is complex, and deep, and surprising, and changing ... my unique essence - and yours!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
New address: Heaven?
What more could I ask? Those lovely crisp nights, with deep yellow moon and bright stars; only 4C when I first approached the thermometer this morning; and this afternoon, 22C. We have to enjoy these days when they come - live in the moment, we keep saying - so I came home from hospital visiting and what felt like a million errands, donned my capris and rubber boots and headed for the garden. There must be something there that needs attention on an afternoon like this ;)

The almost-last green beans (still enough for several meals), the produce of a couple of potato plants, the last little purple topped turnips, a few onions whose tops are broken and won't be growing anymore, a beet or two, and surprise! Those carrots whose tops looked so pitiful have been busy underground! Lovely! Sweet and fragrant!
I am so blessed by this return to rural life...the somewhat hectic pace of a 'newby priest' still needs the occasional reminder of slow, conscious breathing, but the whole environment here is so healthy. As I walked down the hill from my 'borrowed' garden patch, I wondered about the seniors I visit - they must miss these moments. Everyone around here had or has a garden. They must have enjoyed the satisfaction of the harvest, the sore muscles and healthy exhaustion from a day preparing the firewood for winter, or planning/weeding/harvesting food for their tables. But now many sit in their rooms, in the hospital or care-facilities, not really noticing the weather outside their windows, lost in boredom or all-too-often unhappy memories. How can I open their eyes to these beautiful experiences? Bring back these healthy, happy memories? Perhaps tomorrow I'll take a few of those luscious carrots with me on my rounds...they just might evoke a smile or two...
And tonight, when it's dark and cold outside, I'll return to the waiting paperwork and reading and planning! (If I can resist a peak at the stars!)
PS For anyone who's hoping for pics and reflections on Ordination Weekend, I promise to get them up soon. It was such an amazing time - I'm finding it hard setting it to words...how to capture something so special on paper?
The almost-last green beans (still enough for several meals), the produce of a couple of potato plants, the last little purple topped turnips, a few onions whose tops are broken and won't be growing anymore, a beet or two, and surprise! Those carrots whose tops looked so pitiful have been busy underground! Lovely! Sweet and fragrant!
I am so blessed by this return to rural life...the somewhat hectic pace of a 'newby priest' still needs the occasional reminder of slow, conscious breathing, but the whole environment here is so healthy. As I walked down the hill from my 'borrowed' garden patch, I wondered about the seniors I visit - they must miss these moments. Everyone around here had or has a garden. They must have enjoyed the satisfaction of the harvest, the sore muscles and healthy exhaustion from a day preparing the firewood for winter, or planning/weeding/harvesting food for their tables. But now many sit in their rooms, in the hospital or care-facilities, not really noticing the weather outside their windows, lost in boredom or all-too-often unhappy memories. How can I open their eyes to these beautiful experiences? Bring back these healthy, happy memories? Perhaps tomorrow I'll take a few of those luscious carrots with me on my rounds...they just might evoke a smile or two...
And tonight, when it's dark and cold outside, I'll return to the waiting paperwork and reading and planning! (If I can resist a peak at the stars!)
PS For anyone who's hoping for pics and reflections on Ordination Weekend, I promise to get them up soon. It was such an amazing time - I'm finding it hard setting it to words...how to capture something so special on paper?
Friday, July 20, 2007
A day in the life of ...
*a nice little sleep-in after 4 hours on my feet yesterday at our community's annual Strawberry Festival ... so much smiling, so much fellowship, so many dirty plates to remove, names and faces to remember and hands to shake.
*news that our request for release of funds from Presbytery to do repairs on our church and hall has been approved --- how to proceed? Well, the Board of Trustees has to do that. Ok - get out the Manual (the bible of protocol for the United Church of Canada); oops! I'm supposed to call the meeting. One phone call later, and a visit from our neighbour (Trustee) and I discover that the decision is obvious: no need for a meeting! How silly of me to expect...
*the neighbour is also the man-wh0-knows-everything-about-the-cemetery, and he brings me news about the spot for an interment being planned for August.
*off to town later than planned. Where did all these cars come from? Since when do I have to wait to turn out of my driveway? And what's with 16 vehicles in a row putsing along into town? argh.... tourists ;)
*Scan the hospital list: oh no! 5 people...in 1/2 hour! I don't think we're going to make it! oops - bad choice for the first one. Dear lady feeling well enough to want to tell me all about the fall that might have caused her illness...the sign of the beast now appearing as computer chips in animals and soon in humans... the world bank into which we will all put our money - already built and ready in Madrid...clearly end times are upon us...Bennie H and his marvellous crusades, complete with details of the healings that took place when she attended ... "I really have to go now. I'm late for an appointment."
*Coffee at Timmy's - well, I didn't actually take time to get any coffee :( - with the singer who is going to do a fundraiser concert for the Ecumenical Chaplaincy at the end of September. All looks good on that front: nice man, CMA Award Winner, knows what he's doing. Thank you, God.
*A few groceries - most importantly, a sandwich for lunch and wine for supper
*Off to the local Anglican church to return a chausable (from which I am making a pattern), use the washroom, eat my lunch and kill an hour with some planning until it's time to go to the long-term care facility for the afternoon. I check in with Peter and find that he has been playing secretary to phone calls all morning - fortunately no crises.
*Arrive at the Ross Pavilion and find that my French counterpart, one of my favourite people with whom I practice speaking French, is in her/our office and so we spend a few minutes on who has died, who's getting married, the latest nonsense from the pope, the former parishioner I met last night who informed me that he was a faithful member of the United Church "until they let the homosexuals in", my friend's living arrangements...we both sigh. It's a foggy, rainy Friday afternoon - we pry ourselves out of our chairs and head off to do our rounds.
*rounds:
#I stop in to see a lady who was my cousin's best friend many years ago. She doesn't speak and I haven't found out how to communicate with her. But I show her a picture of my cousin, and then leave it for her husband, with a post-in explaining who I am.
#Next is a dear little lady whose name is also Frances: she always reads my nametag and tells me I stole her name! She's reading when I arrive and trying to tell her French -speaking roommate to stop pouring water into styrofoam cups which she then puts in the garbage can. Frances has her knitting projects ready for the WI Fair this fall. Today when I ask her what's new she says, "not much here: the sun comes up, the sun goes down, and the moon rises"! When I leave she asks if I'm driving myself, and cautions me to be careful on the way home...
#I drop in on another lady who sits contentedly in her chair all day, in front of the TV. She saw me going by, and so I couldn't pass her room without acknowledging her. She's had a couple of strokes this spring and only speaks single words: it's sad, cause I can tell she wants to speak, and I guess the sentences form in her head, but she mostly only says yes or no. Sometimes she has knitting out too, but not today. We have a short visit...
#Then I have a long visit with my 105 year old friend. She's always so glad to see me - to see anyone I'm sure, tho her family come very faithfully. We use a microphone to speak into and she puts on earphones - she's so much happier when she can hear without someone having to speak directly into her ear. She's quite blind now too and says she misses being able to read Guidepost - used to read it from front to back, every bit of it. I ask if she would like someone to read to her, but she says everyone is too busy.
As I'm getting ready to leave, her new roommate rolls over and says something in English. I am surprised, and we get to talking. By now, my friend has taken off her earphones, so she reaches out and holds my hand while I rock and talk with her roommate - somehow it seems like that includes her in the conversation. Her new roommate is 96, obviously hears just fine, and quite clearly an angel sent to accompany my friend to her last days. She has that quiet patience and love found only in saints ... she spends an hour or more each afternoon or evening with the microphone, keeping my friend company and talking with her, and she translates for the nurses when they have trouble making my friend understand! What a gift! Thank you God for your angels...
#Then I'm off to see K. She doesn't seem to recognize me now when I come, and though I tell her of things going on in our community, like the Strawberry Festival last night, she gets it all rather muddled up. Eventually I suggest we sing, and I lead out with some of the old hymns - there she shines! I think she was an alto, which suits me fine, and the old familiar words seem to come back quite readily. After a while I remember there are more folks to see, and so we say the Lord's Prayer together and off I go.
#I try to visit different folks each week, but some of the old familiars are hard to pass by. R seems to be sleeping, her face turned from the door, but when I walk in the room I see that her eyes are open. She used to be so lively, full of teasing and fun, but she is sad now and spends much more time in bed. Today she talks of a visit from her brothers, but I'm sure she once told me they have all passed away, and a dream she had of her mother - at home. She wants to be joyful again, but her heart is heavy. She too tells me to be careful on my drive home, and be sure to come back.
#I head upstairs to see some of the folk on the 'protected ward'. Mr. P is sitting in his chair in front of the TV and seems delighted to see me. We have a bit of discussion around the idea that today is his b'day - but on my list it was July 3. He agrees that his b'day is July 3, but it's also today - at least he's going to have a party today. When I eventually tell him that I'm going home to make supper for my husband he assures me that my husband is coming to the party. That would be ok, I guess, except then he reminds me that my husband was injured the same time as him. Apparently they were repairing a fence, during wartime, and there was a car accident. I extricate myself from his room and decide that it really is time to go home...
* It's very foggy and raining hard as I leave town - I remember all the cautions to drive carefully, and stop by the group mailboxes to pick up today's offering and wend my way down the driveway. It's almost 5 o'clock, and I open the supper wine and work on my chausable for a while. Peter is lying on the floor painting a sign to put outside the church welcoming visitors to our worship on Sunday. Creative work is so important to help me centre myself and regain my energy after visiting.
*Eventually it's time for a warming supper of pasta, good bread, salad and red wine, with candles to shed a protective glow around us, and good conversation with my best friend and husband. Blueberries and cream for dessert ... and life is really very, very good :)
*Just enough time left in the evening for a couple of work phone calls, a little blogging, and the final touches to Sunday's bulletin :)
My prayer for you, my reader, is that you may have the variety and balance in your life that I have found in mine, and the pleasure of knowing so many of God's most beautiful people.
*news that our request for release of funds from Presbytery to do repairs on our church and hall has been approved --- how to proceed? Well, the Board of Trustees has to do that. Ok - get out the Manual (the bible of protocol for the United Church of Canada); oops! I'm supposed to call the meeting. One phone call later, and a visit from our neighbour (Trustee) and I discover that the decision is obvious: no need for a meeting! How silly of me to expect...
*the neighbour is also the man-wh0-knows-everything-about-the-cemetery, and he brings me news about the spot for an interment being planned for August.
*off to town later than planned. Where did all these cars come from? Since when do I have to wait to turn out of my driveway? And what's with 16 vehicles in a row putsing along into town? argh.... tourists ;)
*Scan the hospital list: oh no! 5 people...in 1/2 hour! I don't think we're going to make it! oops - bad choice for the first one. Dear lady feeling well enough to want to tell me all about the fall that might have caused her illness...the sign of the beast now appearing as computer chips in animals and soon in humans... the world bank into which we will all put our money - already built and ready in Madrid...clearly end times are upon us...Bennie H and his marvellous crusades, complete with details of the healings that took place when she attended ... "I really have to go now. I'm late for an appointment."
*Coffee at Timmy's - well, I didn't actually take time to get any coffee :( - with the singer who is going to do a fundraiser concert for the Ecumenical Chaplaincy at the end of September. All looks good on that front: nice man, CMA Award Winner, knows what he's doing. Thank you, God.
*A few groceries - most importantly, a sandwich for lunch and wine for supper
*Off to the local Anglican church to return a chausable (from which I am making a pattern), use the washroom, eat my lunch and kill an hour with some planning until it's time to go to the long-term care facility for the afternoon. I check in with Peter and find that he has been playing secretary to phone calls all morning - fortunately no crises.
*Arrive at the Ross Pavilion and find that my French counterpart, one of my favourite people with whom I practice speaking French, is in her/our office and so we spend a few minutes on who has died, who's getting married, the latest nonsense from the pope, the former parishioner I met last night who informed me that he was a faithful member of the United Church "until they let the homosexuals in", my friend's living arrangements...we both sigh. It's a foggy, rainy Friday afternoon - we pry ourselves out of our chairs and head off to do our rounds.
*rounds:
#I stop in to see a lady who was my cousin's best friend many years ago. She doesn't speak and I haven't found out how to communicate with her. But I show her a picture of my cousin, and then leave it for her husband, with a post-in explaining who I am.
#Next is a dear little lady whose name is also Frances: she always reads my nametag and tells me I stole her name! She's reading when I arrive and trying to tell her French -speaking roommate to stop pouring water into styrofoam cups which she then puts in the garbage can. Frances has her knitting projects ready for the WI Fair this fall. Today when I ask her what's new she says, "not much here: the sun comes up, the sun goes down, and the moon rises"! When I leave she asks if I'm driving myself, and cautions me to be careful on the way home...
#I drop in on another lady who sits contentedly in her chair all day, in front of the TV. She saw me going by, and so I couldn't pass her room without acknowledging her. She's had a couple of strokes this spring and only speaks single words: it's sad, cause I can tell she wants to speak, and I guess the sentences form in her head, but she mostly only says yes or no. Sometimes she has knitting out too, but not today. We have a short visit...
#Then I have a long visit with my 105 year old friend. She's always so glad to see me - to see anyone I'm sure, tho her family come very faithfully. We use a microphone to speak into and she puts on earphones - she's so much happier when she can hear without someone having to speak directly into her ear. She's quite blind now too and says she misses being able to read Guidepost - used to read it from front to back, every bit of it. I ask if she would like someone to read to her, but she says everyone is too busy.
As I'm getting ready to leave, her new roommate rolls over and says something in English. I am surprised, and we get to talking. By now, my friend has taken off her earphones, so she reaches out and holds my hand while I rock and talk with her roommate - somehow it seems like that includes her in the conversation. Her new roommate is 96, obviously hears just fine, and quite clearly an angel sent to accompany my friend to her last days. She has that quiet patience and love found only in saints ... she spends an hour or more each afternoon or evening with the microphone, keeping my friend company and talking with her, and she translates for the nurses when they have trouble making my friend understand! What a gift! Thank you God for your angels...
#Then I'm off to see K. She doesn't seem to recognize me now when I come, and though I tell her of things going on in our community, like the Strawberry Festival last night, she gets it all rather muddled up. Eventually I suggest we sing, and I lead out with some of the old hymns - there she shines! I think she was an alto, which suits me fine, and the old familiar words seem to come back quite readily. After a while I remember there are more folks to see, and so we say the Lord's Prayer together and off I go.
#I try to visit different folks each week, but some of the old familiars are hard to pass by. R seems to be sleeping, her face turned from the door, but when I walk in the room I see that her eyes are open. She used to be so lively, full of teasing and fun, but she is sad now and spends much more time in bed. Today she talks of a visit from her brothers, but I'm sure she once told me they have all passed away, and a dream she had of her mother - at home. She wants to be joyful again, but her heart is heavy. She too tells me to be careful on my drive home, and be sure to come back.
#I head upstairs to see some of the folk on the 'protected ward'. Mr. P is sitting in his chair in front of the TV and seems delighted to see me. We have a bit of discussion around the idea that today is his b'day - but on my list it was July 3. He agrees that his b'day is July 3, but it's also today - at least he's going to have a party today. When I eventually tell him that I'm going home to make supper for my husband he assures me that my husband is coming to the party. That would be ok, I guess, except then he reminds me that my husband was injured the same time as him. Apparently they were repairing a fence, during wartime, and there was a car accident. I extricate myself from his room and decide that it really is time to go home...
* It's very foggy and raining hard as I leave town - I remember all the cautions to drive carefully, and stop by the group mailboxes to pick up today's offering and wend my way down the driveway. It's almost 5 o'clock, and I open the supper wine and work on my chausable for a while. Peter is lying on the floor painting a sign to put outside the church welcoming visitors to our worship on Sunday. Creative work is so important to help me centre myself and regain my energy after visiting.
*Eventually it's time for a warming supper of pasta, good bread, salad and red wine, with candles to shed a protective glow around us, and good conversation with my best friend and husband. Blueberries and cream for dessert ... and life is really very, very good :)
*Just enough time left in the evening for a couple of work phone calls, a little blogging, and the final touches to Sunday's bulletin :)
My prayer for you, my reader, is that you may have the variety and balance in your life that I have found in mine, and the pleasure of knowing so many of God's most beautiful people.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Random thoughts over the past week...
- how thankful I am that my daughter taught me about hemming pants with tape...and they last a long time too ;)
- treasure absolutely every moment with our loved ones, and take nothing for granted...life is as fleeting as death is unpredictable
- the very first wild strawberry of summer is the sweetest
- love can move mountains, and it does make the world go 'round
- I still love surprises!
- there is something very holy about women sitting together weeping
- land scraped of its best earth can still produce beautiful daisies and buttercups and clover - God's work of art!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Growing the flock...
can happen in many ways. At the moment we have a robin who has built her nest on one of the posts under our balcony, and when I look down through the crack between the boards I can see 3 perfect blue eggs! I tried to take a picture, but the camera doesn't seem to look around corners as well as my eyes do ;) Unfortunately, it's right under our path between the side door and the table with the barbeque on it, so 'momma' gets disturbed rather frequently, but she seems persistent, and sets up the cry of "cat, cat, cat" whenever we step out onto the balcony.
And we discovered at suppertime that we have a beautiful little warbler in the house! We often leave the door open to outside, because these days it's warmer outside than in ... the roof over our balcony shields us completely from the sun... and I suppose it flew in sometime this afternoon. Have you ever tried to chase a bird down from a 26' ceiling? There's a fan up there, sitting still at this time of year, and the bird finds it a perfect rest, between frantic flights back and forth the length of the house. I'm not sure what we'll do if it's still there at bedtime: I'm not too keen on the idea of leaving the door open all night - who knows what might move in?
Still lovin' the country ....
And we discovered at suppertime that we have a beautiful little warbler in the house! We often leave the door open to outside, because these days it's warmer outside than in ... the roof over our balcony shields us completely from the sun... and I suppose it flew in sometime this afternoon. Have you ever tried to chase a bird down from a 26' ceiling? There's a fan up there, sitting still at this time of year, and the bird finds it a perfect rest, between frantic flights back and forth the length of the house. I'm not sure what we'll do if it's still there at bedtime: I'm not too keen on the idea of leaving the door open all night - who knows what might move in?
Still lovin' the country ....
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
New minister not yet able to walk on water - or was that mud?
Went for a stroll up the beach last night, before the tide came in...I said it was time to turn around and someone else said "I'm going on to the next point". Well, I thought I'd go too, but on the very next step ---- down I went! Both feet into a sinkhole!
Things to be thankful for: rubber boots; a tall strong husband; a sense of humour; the privacy to strip off before going in the house; a hose to wash the clay off my jeans and boots!
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Home again, home again, riggity, jig
I was thinking about that line yesterday as we travelled from Morrisburg to Rose-Bridge...I'm sure it's from an old nursery rhyme, but the question that came to me was what is 'home'? Where is home?
When I'm in residence in Rose Bridge and I refer to 'going home' I mean going to the rented house we occupy there. When I'm in Morrisburg, and I say I'm going home, I mean the house we own there that actually has most of our worldly possessions in it. When I'm staying at a B&B in Dundas and visiting family 'home' becomes the B&B...and when we're travelling in Crannie, our van becomes "home". Home seems to be a rather loose concept for me, and yet I know lots of people for whom 'home' is a very specific building, in one town where their family has likely lived all their lives.
For me, it seems, home is more like a feeling - that place where I return to for rest, for safety, and to be with people I love. Perhaps it's where my bed and toothbrush are, at any given time! Perhaps it's the fact that I've always been a nomad: we lived in an ancestral home only until I was 4 years old. Then, at the age of 10, our rented apartment burned to the ground. I lived with my parents in another rented flat until I left home for a university residence home. After that it was 2 rented apartments, 4 houses, 1 apartment, 2 houses, 2 apartments, and now 1 owned house and 1 rented and our beloved van - all at the same time!
So don't tell me you have no home! Home is indeed where the heart is. Home is where there is love, where there is space for welcoming others, where there is some measure of privacy and where you keep your bare essentials from day to day. It is where you return to and where you go out from...and isn't that, after all, our True Centre?
When I'm in residence in Rose Bridge and I refer to 'going home' I mean going to the rented house we occupy there. When I'm in Morrisburg, and I say I'm going home, I mean the house we own there that actually has most of our worldly possessions in it. When I'm staying at a B&B in Dundas and visiting family 'home' becomes the B&B...and when we're travelling in Crannie, our van becomes "home". Home seems to be a rather loose concept for me, and yet I know lots of people for whom 'home' is a very specific building, in one town where their family has likely lived all their lives.
For me, it seems, home is more like a feeling - that place where I return to for rest, for safety, and to be with people I love. Perhaps it's where my bed and toothbrush are, at any given time! Perhaps it's the fact that I've always been a nomad: we lived in an ancestral home only until I was 4 years old. Then, at the age of 10, our rented apartment burned to the ground. I lived with my parents in another rented flat until I left home for a university residence home. After that it was 2 rented apartments, 4 houses, 1 apartment, 2 houses, 2 apartments, and now 1 owned house and 1 rented and our beloved van - all at the same time!
So don't tell me you have no home! Home is indeed where the heart is. Home is where there is love, where there is space for welcoming others, where there is some measure of privacy and where you keep your bare essentials from day to day. It is where you return to and where you go out from...and isn't that, after all, our True Centre?
Monday, May 7, 2007
Of birds and signs of Spring...
Several pair of golden eye ducks are entertaining us these days, waiting around our corner of the Bay until the marsh thaws enough for nesting. A raft of 18 Canada Geese...a flock of seagulls...a pair of pintail ducks this morning! Life at the end of our spotting scope is awesome these days: an osprey at low tide was seen standing on his catch of the day, biting great chunks out of it!
And on the land side, there are some daffodils in bloom across the road and the ditches are lined with little yellow coltsfoot (?)...buds are swelling on the trees and there is hope in my heart!
And on the land side, there are some daffodils in bloom across the road and the ditches are lined with little yellow coltsfoot (?)...buds are swelling on the trees and there is hope in my heart!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tide's risin' - I think it's time to put up a sail!
Yes! Spring has finally come to Gaspé - Here I sit on the front porch, Sunday service done, visiting at the hospital done, and relaxing in the late afternoon sunshine before supper. I look forward to many such afternoons in the coming months... And as I look down I can see the ripples moving westward in the water, the little ice floes beginning to pick up speed, and the tide is definitely coming in. (The picture was taken a few days ago and we have lots more open water now.) And I think of Thomas and Elizabeth and LaSonrisa II: the mud flats just below the house were out this morning and I could almost hear Thomas say "I think we should go and dig a few clams while we have the chance"! Such good memories...
We're seeing a wonderful variety of big and little birds now - spring migration must be starting, and it's a real cacaphony of gulls and gannets out there this afternoon. There's lots of open water in front of the house, although the bay is certainly not ice-free yet. Peter set up the spotting scope the other day in the front window, so we can keep a seal watch and check on the unusual birds that come by.
Life is not too shabby in this out-of-the-way corner of the world., and I think perhaps it's time to admit - I really like my work here. Isn't it a good thing God is smarter than I am? This was the last thing in the world I wanted to do - remember? Yes, of course, I'd like to be closer to my new baby grandson, but you couldn't pay me enough to live in Toronto, so I'll make my 2-day trek from here (I could be in Hamilton in a twinkling by plane if I were needed) soon enough to see the family, and meanwhile I'm going to enjoy the rest of this glorious afternoon in the sunshine...and wait for the stars to come out later this evening! Eat your hearts out, City Slickers!
And by the way, a little addition to Pam's post about praying, from my lady in the longterm care facility: "I always pray better when we pray together". Happy Spring! Love and blessings to all....
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Resurrection - what is it, really?
Well here I am ... my first Easter as a priest (well, a deacon in the eyes of the Anglican Church and a full minister in the eyes of my United Church pastoral charge)- what a privilege to walk with a congregation through Holy Week. We were keeping things pretty low key this year - with plans to join the neighbouring Anglican parish on Good Friday and have our Communion celebration today. I've been praying and reading and planning...
Early in the week I purchased lovely flowers to have for Easter morning. Martha Stewart would be proud, I think ;)
Then came Good Friday and a huge snowstorm. Our driveway not only had to be plowed and blown out, but even the front-end loader was needed to clear away the drifts! It was mild, with high winds and the snow was heavy and we were without hydro from 8 a.m. til 1 p.m. Needless to say, services were cancelled...it was a dark time and a sombre day...
Holy Saturday, that day of waiting, dawned clear and mild. We completed our preparations for Easter and I tried to calm myself about the resurrection sermon that hadn't quite jelled. We made the trek to Sandy Beach for the Easter Vigil - I was privileged as deacon to carry the new fire into the church and proclaim the Light of Christ, and a trained singer (an old friend from school days) gave a stirring rendition of the Exsultet. It was a wonderful night and when we came home at 9 p.m. I almost gave in to the temptation to put the flowers in the church and surprise everyone Easter morning!

Happy Easter! Another snow storm and total white-out. And, once more, all services cancelled...What does it mean? How can we live and believe Resurrection when it feels like the very life blood of the Church, the rituals that are so important to our faith, are being denied us this year? Are we being invited to look at Resurrection in a new way? To find the hope of new life in new places? Is this a sign for my ministry here?
For me, one of those signs of new life is being prepared in Dundas, ON, where my daughter-in-law labours today to give birth to a new member of our family. We wait alone here, feeling rather isolated by the storm and distance, and long for the days ahead when we will be able to gather as family and as community to talk about what has happened, to tell the stories and celebrate, and plan what to do next. Rather like the disciples, I think, needing to compare experiences and stories and come to some decision about how to live the rest of their lives... and always with the hope of Pentecost, that the Spirit will come upon us to guide and encourage and enliven us!
Christ is risen! There is New Life for all! Allelulia!
Early in the week I purchased lovely flowers to have for Easter morning. Martha Stewart would be proud, I think ;)
Then came Good Friday and a huge snowstorm. Our driveway not only had to be plowed and blown out, but even the front-end loader was needed to clear away the drifts! It was mild, with high winds and the snow was heavy and we were without hydro from 8 a.m. til 1 p.m. Needless to say, services were cancelled...it was a dark time and a sombre day...
Holy Saturday, that day of waiting, dawned clear and mild. We completed our preparations for Easter and I tried to calm myself about the resurrection sermon that hadn't quite jelled. We made the trek to Sandy Beach for the Easter Vigil - I was privileged as deacon to carry the new fire into the church and proclaim the Light of Christ, and a trained singer (an old friend from school days) gave a stirring rendition of the Exsultet. It was a wonderful night and when we came home at 9 p.m. I almost gave in to the temptation to put the flowers in the church and surprise everyone Easter morning!
Happy Easter! Another snow storm and total white-out. And, once more, all services cancelled...What does it mean? How can we live and believe Resurrection when it feels like the very life blood of the Church, the rituals that are so important to our faith, are being denied us this year? Are we being invited to look at Resurrection in a new way? To find the hope of new life in new places? Is this a sign for my ministry here?
For me, one of those signs of new life is being prepared in Dundas, ON, where my daughter-in-law labours today to give birth to a new member of our family. We wait alone here, feeling rather isolated by the storm and distance, and long for the days ahead when we will be able to gather as family and as community to talk about what has happened, to tell the stories and celebrate, and plan what to do next. Rather like the disciples, I think, needing to compare experiences and stories and come to some decision about how to live the rest of their lives... and always with the hope of Pentecost, that the Spirit will come upon us to guide and encourage and enliven us!
Christ is risen! There is New Life for all! Allelulia!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
90 Years and attitudes...
How is it, we speculated together this morning, that some people are basically happy - despite some fairly significant inconveniences - and others just seem to battle against the odds all the way? Well, the wisdom of a 90-year old reported to me later in the day that she thinks it is because so many people have been kind to her...from earliest childhood memories.
It doesn't take much effort to be kind to a child, really; most are quite likeable if you give them half a chance ;) Would we choose to act differently, I wonder, if we knew that our actions - however apparently insignificant at the time - would form a memory to last 90 years or so?
It doesn't take much effort to be kind to a child, really; most are quite likeable if you give them half a chance ;) Would we choose to act differently, I wonder, if we knew that our actions - however apparently insignificant at the time - would form a memory to last 90 years or so?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Unexpected blessings...
This afternoon I went to visit some folks in the local long-term care facility - all have some degree of dementia. At the end of my visit with one delightful 80 year old, who was quite out-of-touch with time and events , I asked if I could say a little prayer with her. She said "oh, yes, please", and took my hand. I thanked God for her and asked blessings on her and those who take care of her...and said "Amen". The instant I stopped speaking, she took over, and prayed the most beautiful prayer for me - inviting the Holy Spirit to fill me and bless my work! I was completely blown away. Unexpected gifts are so special...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Mysteries...
So, just what it is that happens to us, sane responsible people, when we get behind the wheel of a car in the country? There is some kind of perverse 'thrill' that sets in, and our foot goes down on that accelerator, and we crank up the music and ... we're OFF! Is it Spring in the air? Is it a natural 'high' that comes from doing work we enjoy? Is it some subconscious return to adolescence, connected with getting into the driver's seat of a car and turning on the ignition? Power? I honestly don't know, but it feels wild and crazy (and a little irresponsible) and takes me back to very deep-seated memories...
I'm at home in the country! *Smile*............
I'm at home in the country! *Smile*............
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Reading Scripture…
You just have to love those Freudian slips! The gentleman who read the lesson from 1 Corinthians this morning managed to warn us against “sexual immortality” – apparently it wasn’t something they had in Corinth, cause 23,000 of them died in one day! On the other hand, did they die trying to prove they were sexually immortal? ;)
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Sunday #2…and still no rotten tomatoes!
This morning I got my very own key to my very first church! It’s dear and simple, with a lovely stained glass window…and organ speakers in desperate need of attention. They crackle and wheeze, and of course the organist plays quietly, cause she never knows when it’s going to hit a really wheezy spot. Peter has already been poking around, and has an e-mail out to a friend in Calgary who has some experience with speakers and Allen electronic organs.
It’s what I call the ‘poor cousin’ syndrome. One of the previous pastors had a friend…whose church was getting a bigger and better organ. And so they thought they could help out a smaller church… and send them their now superfluous organ. Well, I don’t know if you’ve ever been given someone’s superfluous something, but … either it’s already out of date when they pass it on to you, or it never worked/fit very well in the first place, or in the case of poor, rural parishes…there’s no one around to maintain or fix it. The organist swears she would rather have back the old pump organ, and I really don’t blame her. Our uncultured ears don’t really appreciate the difference among all those fancy stops anyway, and two manuals seems almost too much for two hands…and then you throw in some foot pedals…and you probably get the picture.
So Peter is off to gather information (you gotta love those enneagram 5s) and I’m going to try to figure out how to convince them to get rid of all those tattered song books and psalm books and buy a few Voices United…and hope they’ll still like me (that’s not my #2 speaking, is it?) when all’s said and done. We’re ready to take on another week – out to pastor!
It’s what I call the ‘poor cousin’ syndrome. One of the previous pastors had a friend…whose church was getting a bigger and better organ. And so they thought they could help out a smaller church… and send them their now superfluous organ. Well, I don’t know if you’ve ever been given someone’s superfluous something, but … either it’s already out of date when they pass it on to you, or it never worked/fit very well in the first place, or in the case of poor, rural parishes…there’s no one around to maintain or fix it. The organist swears she would rather have back the old pump organ, and I really don’t blame her. Our uncultured ears don’t really appreciate the difference among all those fancy stops anyway, and two manuals seems almost too much for two hands…and then you throw in some foot pedals…and you probably get the picture.
So Peter is off to gather information (you gotta love those enneagram 5s) and I’m going to try to figure out how to convince them to get rid of all those tattered song books and psalm books and buy a few Voices United…and hope they’ll still like me (that’s not my #2 speaking, is it?) when all’s said and done. We’re ready to take on another week – out to pastor!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Things we take for granted….
Guinness at the beer store…or somewhere in town
Knowing what day to put out the garbage…
Knowing what day to put out the recycling, and what can be recycled…and having an appropriate container to put it out in…
Pine nuts for our favourite recipe, at something less than $4.99 for 2/3 cup…
Knowing where the local post office is, and how to retrieve one’s mail…
Our regular bank, nearby… (2 hours away?)
Hymn books with music in them…
A Canadian Tire Store at the top of the street ;)
A good Greek or vegetarian restaurant…
Hi-speed internet…(yes, we got it eventually: we ARE the end of the wire!)
This little litany was prompted by a trip to town during which we tried to guess, by what we saw along the road, whether today or tomorrow is recycling day…and where we might go to find out what this community recycles… and where might we get one of those great big rolly blue bins that everyone except us seems to have.
Moving rates 20 points on the stress scale: but what about moving twice in two months, to two different provinces? Vehicle licensing, driver’s licensing, home insurance, banking, medicare, phone, internet…the list of changes and peculiarities seems endless. And we are constantly forgetting which town we are in and where the such-and-such is in today’s town! Yeah for staying flexible – it’s all worth it in the end!
Knowing what day to put out the garbage…
Knowing what day to put out the recycling, and what can be recycled…and having an appropriate container to put it out in…
Pine nuts for our favourite recipe, at something less than $4.99 for 2/3 cup…
Knowing where the local post office is, and how to retrieve one’s mail…
Our regular bank, nearby… (2 hours away?)
Hymn books with music in them…
A Canadian Tire Store at the top of the street ;)
A good Greek or vegetarian restaurant…
Hi-speed internet…(yes, we got it eventually: we ARE the end of the wire!)
This little litany was prompted by a trip to town during which we tried to guess, by what we saw along the road, whether today or tomorrow is recycling day…and where we might go to find out what this community recycles… and where might we get one of those great big rolly blue bins that everyone except us seems to have.
Moving rates 20 points on the stress scale: but what about moving twice in two months, to two different provinces? Vehicle licensing, driver’s licensing, home insurance, banking, medicare, phone, internet…the list of changes and peculiarities seems endless. And we are constantly forgetting which town we are in and where the such-and-such is in today’s town! Yeah for staying flexible – it’s all worth it in the end!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
A blessing of time
What a glorious place this is! I continue to be awed by the beauty of sunshine on fresh snow, chickadees who have already found our little feeder, and the frozen bays reaching like white-coated arms into the dark coastline.
And I have discovered another gift of this place. For years I have been feeling guilty that I can’t seem to get out of bed early in the morning for quiet prayer time before the bustle of the day begins. Here I have been waking at 6:30 a.m. feeling quite rested and ready to get up. Why the difference? Well, it finally dawned on me that this place is geographically in the Atlantic Canada time zone, but many years ago the government of Quebec decided that the whole province ought to be on the same time, so they said, “We shall all pretend to be Eastern Canada”. So, when my body (which is very responsive to the light) is ready to get up, usually 7:30, our clocks say it’s only 6:30! That gives me the hour I need to be still and listen before I need to think about shower and breakfast and getting off to work. Amazing.
Feb. 19 Ominous words?
“If ya hear me yelling ‘sam’, don’t think I’m yellin’ at the kids. Sam’s my dog and he always barks when your porch lights are on. Sam doesn’t like any change.”
Feb. 18
My first worship with my new flock and the first time of meeting most of them. What lovely people – some a little shy, hanging back a bit; some coming forward to be helpful; some anxious to talk about themselves and their families. And our first taste of that wonderful country hospitality! After the worship service, they spread out an amazing banquet lunch, on a table in front of the altar: good thick ‘Church Lady Sandwiches’ (no skimpy filling here), 2 kinds of potato salad, coleslaw, and plates and plates of tempting squares and cookies. How does one ever taste them all? – and one really should, in order not to insult anyone! People might be watching: “I think the new minister likes chocolate – I saw her take 2 of Betty’s* chocolate squares.” “She had one of Marge’s squares with the pink icing, but she never even looked at my famous cherry ones.” “I guess she’s a tea drinker.” “That Jim, he always monopolizes people – I never even got a chance to talk to her.” Someday I’ll have to learn each person’s specialty and make sure I spread the praise around.
And then they brought out a cake! They wouldn’t let us cut it cause “everyone’s already full”, but we brought it home to nibble on all week long. For people who only ‘have Communion’ 3 times a year, they certainly know how to break bread together!
* names have been changed to protect the innocent!
Amazing Winter! (Feb 17/07)
How could I have forgotten how beautiful Gaspé is in winter? We had lots of snow over the past few days, and this morning when I left the house at 6:15 a.m. to pick up a colleague at the airport dawn was just breaking. The streetlights were shutting off as I drove along the snow packed country roads. It was –15C and there was just a hint of a sunny day. We had a 2 hour drive up the coast, and before I knew it we were bathed in bright sunshine, sparkling off the lapis lazuli water and the pristine new snow. Around each corner was a new and breathtaking sight: snow drifted like fondant on the fanciest of cakes and shining like a carpet of diamonds, little ice pads floating on the Bay, trees dabbed or dusted with fresh snow…nature at its most pure and heart-stopping.
It is truly wonderful to be back in the country – the silence! Ah, the silence, and the stars. And the contented feeling of coming home after a long day to find a fire burning in the wood stove and the setting sun inviting me to sit on the balcony for a few minutes and relax into the returning warmth that is a sure hope of Spring.
Our new home – by daylight… (Feb 15, 2007)
The storm was fabulous, but much too short! Visibility became shorter and shorter last night, but when we awoke today there wasn’t really much snow on the ground, despite the wind. By mid-morning the wind calmed and the snowflakes grew larger, and we had a wonderful storm. The temperature climbed above 0C and great sheets of snow slid off the steep metal roof. The local snow removal person was here at 8 a.m. to plow us out, and back at noon with his blower: either the new minister is really important or those strangers from out-of-province likely don’t know how to drive in the snow! (We’ll soon find out which it is!)
Comments heard during the day of unpacking and relaxing:
(gazing at the speakers set in the ceiling 26’ above us) “I’ve never heard Ian Tyson singing from heaven before!”
I wonder how those speakers out on the balcony will fare in the snow storm…
This is the first time I’ve had a dining room table that filled the entire dining room: and includes 4 benches – 2x4 seaters, and 2x2 seaters.
For those of you who know how much I love placing furniture akimbo – the ultimate: the toilet occupies a vantage point in the corner of the bathroom, allowing a clear view of both doors, AND Ian Tyson is piped in there too!
Pamela, you thought we had a staircase to die for in Morrisburg. Wait til you see this 15 step wonder – straight up from the front door, with rounded treads and risers! Magnificent!
And, a kitchen designed with Fran in mind…well, the bottom half, at least. The counter top is a full 2” lower than the level of the stove, but the upper cupboards stretch about 12’ up, making the top 2-3 shelves perfect for long-term storage. Everything above the first shelf is perfectly safe from my clawing fingers.
Please don’t take any of this as disparaging – the house is totally charming, cozy as a bug and rustic as a 2007 copy of a 1950s chalet, with the proportions gone somewhat awry. (Perhaps it was that translation from imperial to metric that did it!) At any rate, none of the furniture is in danger of moving, even with a significant jostle on the Richter scale.
On the definite upside of all this is the fact that a call to Telus this morning yielded us an operating telephone line by 3 o’clock this afternoon! How’s that for a record? “Quebec sait faire!”
(Feb 14, 2007) To the finish line!
We did it again! God be praised, and thanked. We arrived at the house in Rose-Bridge just before 5 p.m., groceries on board – got the Grand Tour – unloaded the cars… and the snow began about 9 p.m. The house is cozy with a lovely airtight wood stove in the living area and I’m sure we’ll be toasty warm. The owner was delighted to show us all his handiwork – proportions seem a bit large, but as they say en français, “c’est charmante”! The two bearskins looking down on us from the beams over the front door take a bit of getting used to, but they’re well above my line-of-vision! So we’re going to hunker down for the night and see what the world looks like in the morning…
Storm running… (Feb. 13, 2007)
When we left Calgary on December 27, 2006 at the front edge of a snowstorm, we had no idea that outrunning storms would become a new motif for us! It worked very nicely all across Canada, as each day we listened to the news and discovered that the place we had left the previous day was now having a major snowstorm. When we arrived in Morrisburg the grass was even greener than it had been in October. Of course that didn’t last long and suddenly winter arrived. How excited we were to bundle up and trudge to the post office…we even bought a new shovel and cleared Jill and Bob’s driveway too, cause ours is really short! What happy childhood memories it brought back! (Ain’t it amazing what a thrill it is to experience the power and force of a snowstorm after 3 years of insipid rain and fog?)
Well, here we are on the road again, heading from Quebec City to Gaspé this time, and guess what? We’re trying to outrun another storm! This one is forecast to be the biggest so far this winter in the Province of Quebec. We were going to do some more visiting in Quebec City this aft (and a little shopping at Simon’s) but we gave it all up for a speedy exit after our meeting with the Archbish and news of the storm, due tomorrow morning in Quebec City.
We found a motel in Mont Joli for the night, and tomorrow we’ll race for the finish line: our new abode in Rosebridge, which we expect to call “Home” for the next 3 years. The walkie talkies Peter bought (you guessed it: at CTC) are working fine and it’s a great distraction and comfort to be able to chat back and forth a bit as we drive along in two separate vehicles. It takes the pressure off of trying to read Peter’s mind when I suddenly see his signal light go on, or he makes a dive for the left lane when I anticipated an exit ramp to the right!
Now for a few zzzzz’s before we get back to storm running again tomorrow…J
Well, here we are on the road again, heading from Quebec City to Gaspé this time, and guess what? We’re trying to outrun another storm! This one is forecast to be the biggest so far this winter in the Province of Quebec. We were going to do some more visiting in Quebec City this aft (and a little shopping at Simon’s) but we gave it all up for a speedy exit after our meeting with the Archbish and news of the storm, due tomorrow morning in Quebec City.
We found a motel in Mont Joli for the night, and tomorrow we’ll race for the finish line: our new abode in Rosebridge, which we expect to call “Home” for the next 3 years. The walkie talkies Peter bought (you guessed it: at CTC) are working fine and it’s a great distraction and comfort to be able to chat back and forth a bit as we drive along in two separate vehicles. It takes the pressure off of trying to read Peter’s mind when I suddenly see his signal light go on, or he makes a dive for the left lane when I anticipated an exit ramp to the right!
Now for a few zzzzz’s before we get back to storm running again tomorrow…J
Out to Pastor – Take 2
Some of you may remember that I previously had a blog under the name Out to Pastor. Time passed, and school kept me busy, but now I am finished with all that nonsense and heading off on another Big Adventure, and it seems that there may be a few good stories ahead. So – let’s try this again, or… “Take 2”.
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