Nudgings, synchronicities, memories...

"It's been a big [week] day, Maggie... I wonder what will happen tomorrow?" famous words of Mr. McGarrity to my childhood friend, Maggie Muggins.

Just a short week ago, while driving home from yoga, feeling very tired and desperate about how to create more time to take care of Mom's post-heart-attack appointments, tests, etc. a little voice in my head said quite clearly, "It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you know". Bingo! Brilliant! It doesn't have to be retire or keeping struggling to keep up. I could take a 2-month leave from work. I could get my life in order, get Mom settled in a new routine, and then pick up where I left off and keep on going a little longer, doing the work I really love. Amazing! I felt as thought Someone had just picked up the 1000 pound weight from my shoulders...Someone. Nudging me...

Today, while enjoying a snow day, I spent a little time googling information about a very old print I had removed from an old frame that used to be in my father's house. It was put out by the Pears Soap people in 1908 and suddenly I found myself reading about the beginnings of the commerical soap business in the 19th century. Fascinating stuff! Almost as good as the story of sugar. And then there were links to the Pears soap saga, and suddenly up came a page about Mevagissy, Cornwall, England. The minute I saw the peculiar name it rang a bell...and as I read more it all came back to me. This was the quaint little fishing town Peter and I had driven through on the local bus when we left Heligan Gardens to return to our B&B in St. Austell (and the birth place of Andrew Pears). It is a town with streets so narrow that people have to stand in their doorways when the bus goes through! And we went there because the kind bus driver made a detour to deliver a pregnant lady home after she had missed the last bus of the day to Mevagissy! What are the chances? An old print, an intriguing story of soap, a tiny town in Cornwall with a bizarre name...synchronicities...

And memories - where would we be without our memories? First a call from old friends - catching up on health news, church news, wonderful laughter...and then working on my liturgy for Christmas Eve: finding a prayer written by an another friend, professor and mentor! Just like a hug! We'll use it Christmas Eve - no one else will know that it's special, but I'll know that my friend is there with me...

nudgings, synchronicities, memories - ignore them at your peril!

Matthew 6:25-33

Thanksgiving Sunday – it’s sort of a ‘feel good’ time, isn’t it? Kids home from university, family gatherings planned… How many times, I wonder, have you heard the preacher talk about how much we have to be thankful for? – food, clothing, shelter, friends and family…freedom…We are very fortunate people, in a great land. And even today, when we’re feeling a little disappointed about the weather, we can still find something to be thankful for!

So…… I guess that’s all there is to it! We can pack up and go home!

Or, wait! Is there a bit more to it than that? …What about the gospel we just heard? “Don’t worry about what you’re going to eat, or drink, or wear”, Jesus says…God will take care of all that. Huummmm……

But those are real issues for all of us – and they’re actually quite a problem for some people. In this climate we have to have clothing and shelter, and food and water to just stay alive. It’s true that many people don’t have too much trouble getting those things for themselves and their families in this town. But some people do…

What’s in this passage for the poor, and the hungry and the homeless? What can you say to your friend who has just lost his job and wonders where the next month’s rent is going to come from? What can I say to the young mom who finds herself a single parent because she had to leave a man who was abusing her, and she’s out of money for groceries? Can we say, “don’t mind the cold: God loves you”; “don’t worry about your children’s empty tummies – God loves you.”

It doesn’t work, does it? I just can’t say that to someone who doesn’t have the basics for life, when I do.

We have to make sense out of these teachings in our own lives –folks. These are not just pretty words written 2000 years ago in a distant land – for other people. By coming here today you’re saying that you believe these words, and they make a difference in your life… so we’d better try to make some sense of it….

I think we need to go back to the verse before our gospel starts today: the last part of vs. 24: “you cannot serve God and wealth”. There’s a clue here for us. Don’t focus on accumulating more than we need (that’s wealth). Get our priorities straight: serve God first! And what do you think happens if we put God’s principles first, rather than our own wealth?

1. We pay fair wages to our employees, rather than trying to make bigger profit for ourselves.
2. We buy from companies that don’t use child or slave labour – even if the products cost us a bit more.
3. If we have enough extra to invest a bit, we support companies that practice ethical business – even if the profit, and therefore our interest, is a bit less than the companies that rape the land and destroy other people’s ability to raise their food and provide shelter for their families.
4. We share with others – we give our tithe, our 10% of what we receive, to the food bank, the clothing bank, projects that help equal out the abundance of creation amongst all God’s children.

It’s actually been my experience that the most generous people are often those who have the least to share – the least worldly goods. Generosity seems to come naturally to them. They seem to understand that whatever they have is gift from God, and therefore belongs in the economy of the Kingdom – the Kin’dom, as some people call it…reminding us that we’re all together in this as ‘kin’, or family.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God” – practice a lifestyle that promotes equality, because you understand it! Because you truly believe that we are all beloved and equal in God’s eyes! And when we do that, of course people won’t have to worry about the details of daily life, because there will be plenty for all to share. God has provided abundance in this wonderful world and God invites us to take care of each other – I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that God has no hands or feet in this world except ours …

So when we give thanks today for what we ‘have’, let’s also remember that ‘having’ is not the important part. Life in the kin’dom – serving and loving and sharing – is what’s important! And when we get that right relationship with God and each other down pat, all the other details will be taken care of………

Amen!

The view from my window...

Sometimes things look so clear from my window.
Sometimes the fog outside is as thick as the fog inside my head.
Sometimes the scene is expansive and beautiful.
Sometimes my window seems as small as the eye of the black fly – small, but focused.

I’m in a foggy spot just now: foggy outside and foggy inside.

A few days ago an enormous cruise ship came to Gaspé. Well, I’m told it was enormous – I never even caught a glimpse of it! I knew it was here because I saw the little shuttle boats coming and going from the marina and lots of strangers walking around town. I keep wondering how it felt for those passengers to cast off from the big ship in the fog – heading for land they couldn’t see, but were promised awaited them…arriving at the dock in the sunshine – a strange and unfamiliar place – unable then to see the ship from whence they had come! What a journey of trust, and perhaps even terror for some. Perhaps some folks were actually too frightened to leave the security of The Big Ship.

My internal fog is causing me some concern lately too. There’s so much I don’t seem to understand. Is it intentionally hidden from me, or do I need to ask God to lift the fog from the eyes of my soul? I can see just to the edge of my property (my world) but what lies beyond is mystery…

Recently I’ve heard of two more priests who have left their Anglican Church of Canada parishes to join the Anglican Network in Canada. Good people. Doing what they believe is right. Desiring certainty for themselves and their people – certainty they find, as I understand it, in a literal interpretation of some of the scriptures. The words of a Joe Wise song keep rising in my heart as I try to understand.

Lord, teach us to pray
It's been a long and cold December kind of day,
with our hearts and hands all busy in our private little wars.
We stand and watch each other now, from separate shores;
we lose the way.

I still get so distracted by the color of my skin;
I still get so upset now when I find that I don't win.
I meet so many strangers; I'm so slow to take them in
I've got to find a way to really live.

I stand so smug and sure before the people I've out-guessed;
to let them all be who they are I still see as a test.
And when it all comes down to "must," I'm sure my way is best.
I've got to find what "room" means in my heart.

Lord, teach us to pray.
We still believe that we can find a better way.
Teach us to pray. We lose the way. Teach us to pray.

How do we find our way through the fog of confusion, “the cloud of unknowing”? Is certainty the right goal? The 14th century unknown author of this spiritual classic on prayer and divine meditation makes this suggestion:
And so I urge you, go after experience rather than knowledge.
On account of pride, knowledge may often deceive you, but this gentle,
loving affection will not deceive you. Knowledge tends to breed conceit,
but love builds. Knowledge is full of labor, but love, full of rest.

Donal Dorr, in his book Integral Spirituality, offers a useful thermometer for discernment – some questions to help me decide if what I am doing is truly from God.
Does this lead to a flourishing of the deepest part of me?
Am I opening to God and other people and the world?
Are people benefiting from what I’m doing?
Am I growing in the love of God?
Am I growing in the sense of God’s presence?
Am I growing in freedom of spirit and openness?

If I can say “yes” to these questions, then perhaps the fog is lifting enough for me to safely venture out a bit into the mystery and still find my way HOME.


[Donal Dorr M.A., D.D. is a well-known facilitator, consultant, trainer, resource-person and author. He is a member of St. Patrick’s Missionary Society ("The Kiltegan Fathers"). For many years he devoted himself to working, in Ireland and overseas, with community groups, church groups, and teams of all kinds, with a special emphasis on empowerment, community-building, and conflict-resolution. Some of his other books to look for include Spirituality and Justice, Option for the Poor, Divine Energy: God beyond us, within us, among us; and Spirituality: our deepest heart’s desire.]

Asking for prayer

I can't believe it's so long since I blogged...Pamela is off in Thailand and has been asking for sermons again. So here we go for this week!

This morning I’d like to talk with you a little bit about prayer. That reading from James 5:13-20 – the very last verses of the book – seems to portray a real community united in faith and mutual support….
…call the elders to pray over the sick
…confess your sins and pray for one another…

Prayer is such an important part of our lives, eh? However we do it – wherever, whenever, using whatever words: grand, beautiful prayers we’ve found in books, or simple words of our own, as they rise up in us! It’s our communication with God. It’s that relationship I talk about often – and we know that relationship doesn’t exist without communication…we know that (many of us have learned it the hard way). Where there is no communication, no exchange of praise and thanks and request and concern, there is no relationship.

And clearly prayer IS something that people think about – and worry about, I’d venture to say. If you ever get into a Christian bookstore, or see a catalogue of books, you’ll see more about prayer than anything else! We want to get it right. Perhaps we fuss too much about getting it right, rather than simply DOING it …

And of course, there isn’t just the ‘when’ and the ‘where’ and the ‘what words to use’, there’s also the ‘why’ question. And the ‘does it work’ question…
Why do we not always get what we pray for?
Why did our parents not always give us what we asked for?
No, it’s probably not that simple…or maybe it is. In any case, what James seems to be talking about in this passage is praying for each other, and particularly for the sick, and those who have sinned.

Being sick, I’ve noticed, puts us out of relationship. If we have to be isolated at home, or go to the hospital, we’re out of contact with our usual social group. If it’s just a few days, family and friends may fuss over us and we may seem to get more attention that usual, but if it takes us away from our regular routine for weeks or months – there’s definitely a sense of estrangement. Communication lessens; we seem to fall out of relationship. People who have lingering sickness often feel shut out, cut off, perhaps even guilty that they haven’t taken proper care of their bodies… There’s definitely a “dis-ease”, an unhappy sense of aloneness.

When I visit people as chaplain, I sometimes ask if I can pray for them. I don’t think anyone has ever refused. And most people express great relief and appreciation that someone has prayed for them. I think it gives them a sense of being re-connected to the community: someone cares about them. The interesting thing is how rarely folks take the initiative and ask me to pray for them. James says the sick should call for the elders of the church to pray over them – we need to take the first step for ourselves, it seems, and ask for prayer. We need to ask for relationship, communication…we can’t just expect it to happen.

And so it is too, says James, with the forgiveness of sins. When we have sinned against someone we must confess, ask for their prayers, and we will be forgiven. Sin takes us out of relationship too. It cuts us off from each other and the community. And when we confess, and ask for prayer, we are brought back into relationship. We are “healed’, you might say.

So - enough talk! When I was preparing for this morning, I had pages and pages of notes, and finally I realized we just need to experience being prayed for. So this morning I want to take a few minutes and invite you to come for prayer, for healing or forgiveness, for whatever you need. I was going to go around to each of you and pray over you, but I noticed that James says that we should ask for prayer. So I’m going to stay here, quietly, by the font for a few minutes. I’m going to turn off my mic, and if anyone would like to come forward and have me pray over you, I would be delighted to do that. (Those of you who are sitting in your seats can also pray silently for the people who come forward, or you can just rest quietly in God’s presence.)

[You can tell that this is what I'm saying in a church, with several people present. I encourage you, too, to find someone and ask them to pray over you. Fancy words are not important - it's the feeling of relationship and healing that comes from being present, together, before our God.]

It's all in how you look at it ...

Friday, September 25th, 2009
Today I visited the local long-term care facility. The first lady I met was excited to tell me that she had participated in an apple-pie-making event the previous day. A group of people made fresh apple pies for a party for the Altzheimer unit today. Some folks had peeled the wonderful fresh apples, some chopped or sliced, some helped with the pastry - and it was fabulous - and what a nice time she had. I asked if she had tasted the results yet, and she said oh yes! The organizers had brought each participant a piece.

On I went to visit some of the other folks, armed with this piece of 'news' as a conversation starter...
F: I hear there was a great pie-making party yesterday - did you go? did you help out?
T: Oh no! They're not going to get me into that.
F: Did you make a lot of pies in your younger days?
T: Yes, I did, and I'm not going to start doing that here too. My pension pays for my board here and I don't have to make pies for anybody. First thing you know I'll be having to do that everyday... Oh, no. I'm smarter than they think...

So, dear friends, and those who try to organize activities for other people: beware! One woman's pie is perhaps another's poison!

A gift of time and other discoveries...

Today, as I sat on the end of my mother's bed, and gave approval for what she chose to keep, and encouragement for what she suggested might be thrown out, I realized that I had slid again into my parallel career. What could I possibly call it? Trash overseer? Encourager of the faint hearted? Garbage bag junkie?

When my children were little we had a ritual that took place at least twice a year. I would go to their bedrooms with a garbage bag and a box and we would sit together and sort through their 'stuff'... We'd review it all lovingly: the favourites (to keep), the slightly-tired-of (to put aside in the box and bring out again in a few month's time) and the unredeemable! (There were actually 2 categories for the unredeemable - some went directly to the trash, and some was given away to the charity de jour.)

Through the years I've sat honour guard on this same ritual for a long list of friends, one husband-to-be, one step-daughter, 2 retiring priests and seemingly endless bosses and acquaintances. What in the world do you suppose fits me so well for this roll? I'm thoroughly nonplussed ... sometimes it's pretty boring, but mostly it's surprisingly interesting, as folks share their stories and their treasures and I offer some appropriate support for their decisions.

BUT ... while spending this unanticipated week with Mom, first playing Nurse Nancy, and gradually moving out of the way as she recovered from her crisis of low heart rate, I have discovered Madeline l'Engle! Where has she been all my life? Sure, sure, I heard of her before: great author, really ought to taste her writings ... but she's incredible! I can't remember when last I was so totally and completely captivated by an author! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

PS
I have also rediscovered why I had to give up reading when my children were born: gotta read to the finish line!
What a week!
What a gift - of time with Mom and time with Madeline l'Engle!

Musings...on Holy Saturday morning

Yesterday, at the Good Friday service, I heard again those words about the guards casting lots for Jesus' tunic - the seamless tunic. And what really struck me was what was it like to be the person who won it? What did it feel like to wear Jesus' tunic? Did it change who that guard was, what he thought or did? Did he hear, later on, about Jesus' Resurrection? Did that 'spook' him - was he afraid to wear to wear the tunic - Jesus' tunic?

Why the specific mention that it was seamless? Yes, that explained the guards' reluctance to tear it up, I suppose, and it makes it sound special, perhaps even perfect . The writer must have attached some special meaning to that garment to make note of it like that...

And what about the hands that made it? Where did it come from? Was it made especially for Jesus - a gift from a devoted admirer, or perhaps someone who had been healed? Or was it passed down to Jesus from someone who no longer needed or wanted it? How many people wore it after Jesus, and did they always have a special feeling when they wore it? Isn't it strange that the emphasis has been put on the shroud of Turin - Jesus' grave cloths - rather than the tunic that he must have worn when he was healing and teaching...

There was another important cloak - Joseph's coat of many colours - and again the story doesn't follow the coat, but it seemed important enough to mention...

So many things to muse about on a sombre Saturday morning...

In the beginning...

One of my fans has asked for updates on what I'm doing in confirmation prep with my one and only confirmand...
Last Sunday afternoon we thought about Creation and the Creator. I read Genesis 1:1-2:3, really slowly, and he made a picture of what it sounded like. I think I might have done 7 (or at least 6) pictures, but he choose to put it all in one - he doesn't 'do' art. No prob.
We mused about whether or not the scientific creation story and the biblical one are mutually exclusive... are there lifeforms somewhere else? Why just us?
We looked at a lovely glass artist's image of Earth from space...
We listened to Bette Middler's From a distance...
We looked at some pictures from the Hubble telescope...
and then I showed him some tools for studying the Bible: my Hebrew-English Tanakh, (woe is me - I've lost almost all my Hebrew, so hardly achieved) a synopsis of the gospels, a concordance, different translations, some Greek words...
and it was time to go! how quickly 2 hours passes!
Homework: find some other creation stories, start to learn the Lord's Prayer.
See you next week!

Justice has finally been served, Mike!

Once upon a time, almost 25 years ago, in a family of 5, there was one piece of cheesecake left after dinner. It was tucked away in the cupboard for 'tomorrow'...
The next day, when the hard-working mom was looking for a snack, she discovered the cheesecake: perfect! How would you ever divide once piece of cheesecake among 5 people? Better to eat and enjoy it now, and avoid the squabbles when the kids got home from school. Yummmm

Yesterday that hard-workin' mom got home from work late - TGIF! All through supper she kept thinking of the one piece of rhubarb sour cream pie sitting on the shelf, and she knew it was going to be the perfect finale to her hard day. What?????? gone????? not possible!!! Eaten by the man who says he loves her - How could that be????? Didn't he know how much she wanted it? Couldn't he see her name on it?

Justice has been served ... I finally understand, Mike...

Reflections on a special day ...

In the immortal words of Hallmark, via my daughter,
60 is 'Retro' - which is very cool!
Opening presents in bed is still the best!
Imagine - a Snow Day to celebrate - just for me!
The delight of hearing the voices of friends and family singing to me on my answering machine makes going out early in the morning, in the storm, to tend the neighbour's cat, very worthwhile!
Apparently even our snowing clearing man knows that everyone should have the day off on their b'day: 9:30 am and still no sign of him!
There are simply no words to describe the experience of having a 'Sweet Sixtee' roast beef dinner cooked for me by my 93 year old aunt/godmother (complete with birthday cake, candles and a gift of *pounds* of Nanaimo Bars...)
Blessings abound!