Picture this ...

You're 94 years old and you get a letter from your insurance company saying that you have to get a new furnace and get your old oil-tank out of the basement! You're more than a little ticked off, but over the course of the summer - and tolerating rather poorly many people's well-intentioned assistance - you call in your local furnace man and arrange to purchase a new furnace and have the new oil tank installed in the yard.

There was nothing the matter with the other 40-year old furnace. And really, what's the problem with having the oil tank in the basement? Seriously?

Before the furnace is installed, the guy dies. No problem! Someone else will install it!

So, in due time the furnace gets installed, a compact, efficient up-to-date little number. There's still oil left in the old tank, so they hook it up to empty that tank first.

Famous comment: "I was always trying to save money and not run the furnace much, and now I'm trying to empty the tank as soon as possible!"

All well and good, but now that said dear lady is ready to write the insurance company and tell them to 'stuff it' - she has a 2010 furnace and oil tank - out in the yard - thank you very much .... she notices that the policy says the nearest fire hydrant is 1000 feet away! Nonsense! There's one right across the road! So out she goes to measure, and prove them wrong.

"It was just a rough measurement, because I didn't have anyone with me. And I didn't want to be in the middle of the road for too long, with a tape strung across the traffic, you know....but at the very most it's 70 feet. I think they never even noticed that there was a hydrant on that side of the house."

IF I am still alive at 95, may I have the marbles and interest to be 'showing up' the insurance company!